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== I am not angry… I am mad!' ==

‘If you want to see how big a man is, see what makes him angry.’

‘Stop crying son tears are never useful … That’s why I am crying… Dad! I am always angry with my uncle, with my cousin and the rest of the family. I am extremely mad at my boss, colleagues and formal partner. I am furious with my solicitor, agent and doctor. I am stressed about my health, work and my love life. I am sad about the recent death of my aunt, and the illness of my brother, I am constantly worried about my debts, girl friend, and the welfare of my children.

I am concerned about the world of today and it’s future. The might of the US, the stupidity of Europe, and the 10% cut in my salary. I am mad at Che Guevara, Arafat, Hoche Mineh and Castro. I dislike the ‘Gafafi’s’ of the world , the Mullahs and the National Fronts- NF's. I contempt Bokassa, Selassie and Mougabi. I am angry with the Sultan, the Emir, and the Royal families. I am furious with Shirac, Shreoder and Kuffi Annan. The Sheik of the Azhar, the Rabbi, the Pope and Buddha himself - all drive me nuts. There were even times when I liked Marco Polo, Thomas Cook and Ibn Batouta. In fact I used to like them the way I liked Armstrong, Valentina Tereshkova , and Laika the dog!. I am now totally pissed off with the lot and very angry with the Prozak, the Ozone, and the Viagra. Frankly speaking I just dislike the CEO, COO, and FCO of ‘World Plc’. It sucks!

I look around and what do I see? I see elite cheating, corruption, ass licking, leg crossing, eye winking, and miseries for us all. I see borders erected in the middle of our hearts, medicine beyond our pockets, and poverty to the depth of our soul. Yes it is not as bad as it sounds. It is much worse! The ‘share holders’ of ‘Earth Plc’ are constantly struggling big time! It is the maid from Sri Lanka, the Palestinian from the West Bank, the Kurd from Halabja, and the Sudanese from Darfure. It is the Cuban who is away from home, the Venezuelan over looking Carcass, the children in Brasilia and the gypsies of Romania. It is the women in Afghanistan, of Pakistan and Lebanon. It is the coffee boy, the tea boy and the prostitute. It is the pain and confussion of the disabled, the frustration of the mentally challenged and the anger of all…. Do I worry about the DNA or the clawing? The genetic, embryonic or the death penalty? Do I get angry with those playing Hannibal or God? The sad problem is if you care, you will have a headache if you don’t you will have no head to ache! You become just like sheep ‘Maa’ all the way to the White House! There were times when I took life seriously and tried to contribute. It is life ‘who’ is not taking me seriously every time I ask a question. There were times when I though we were born for a very good reason, now I know we are here for an excellent one. For crying out loud and screaming our heads off! We are here for wondering who is really better: the cow (Bull) people or the goat (RAM)! Essentially and as you can tell already, I am let down by all, disappointed with everything and every one. I am angry with the lot: life, Ra’a, my self and George Dubyah. All I want is justice to all, revenge from all, recognition by all and I want them all at once right now! To me every one is Brutus!

I am not going to wait 4000 years for my Promised Land. Nor am I going backwards to Somer to search for my Ziggurat. I am not going to take it easy, read books or pay for therapy. I no longer fear Moses’ stick or the Pharaoh’s. I am now OK! and every one else is not! They all have to make way and listen to me when I talk about my problems. After all it is ‘them’ who caused me the grief, the stress, the pain and the anger. They disappointed me with their deist, unfairness, and disloyalty. They are all against me for something I did not do, or words I did not say.

I am angry with myself because I confuse morality by philosophy, literature with religion, and love for sex. I am angry because I can’t debates euthanasia, metaphysics and Milk shake in that order. I am angry because I can’t tell it as it is or the way I like it. In fact I get angry with the ‘falafel’ guy and the Hot Dog man for cheating on my Tartour sauce and tomato Ketchup! I am angry because I couldn’t talk before I was born! – You can laugh if you want the phrase is not mine, the point is!

I am angry because no one nowadays is using any ‘conventional’ wisdom, common sense or the Natural law. These are good energies that everyone with a normal mind should have by means of conscience. We are speaking about ‘laws of silk’ that are written on the heart. We know these are not prescriptive ways to solve our problems but are ways to look at life, supposedly as was even before Hamourabi’s Ten Commandments! These values should – but who cares - provide "a framework for the authority that permits human freedom, If you take that away, what are we left with? You will be left with Bodily senses only! We will be left with bare instincts just like monkeys.

We are losing the battle of freedom with ourselves, with our families and communities. We are constantly aggravated, checked, monitored and spied on not for what we are doing, nor for what we are likely to do but for our inner thoughts and deeper intentions… I am not going to wait another 4000 years before I can express my anger in natural ways! Ways that are not only real and right, but also known to us all, they are embedded in the fabric of our natural thinking supposedly as a safety valve!

I am angry because I report to Gary and he reports to Graham. Graham reports to Paul and Paul reports to Terry. Terry reports to the Bank and it reports to the stock exchange, the Exchange regulates the market and the market drives the government. In it’s wisdom the government sends the troops to Iraq where soldiers and people end up dying. All because I report to Gary in the 1st place? I am angry because ‘they’ rape my intelligence in the process and misuse my trust. I am angry because they destroyed my inner World Centre and took me for a ride.

I am mad because no body gives credit where credit is due. When ‘they’ are forced to recognise any one, it always comes too late and with lot with blood as with the recognition of the police, the nurse, and the soldier. I am angry because we all take it as is, no question asked. We spend long time squeezing, smelling and touching our tomatoes before we buy them and more time checking the bill before we pay it! Ironically we spent no time whatsoever at all touching and smelling our own lives and we don’t even check our bill with the Establishment. I wish we all were tomatoes, cucumbers and bananas instead!

I am angry because too many of us hold hoity-toity views of right and wrong, left and right, and the Black & White… It is our confusion over the description, the interpretation of the meaning and the meaning of our intentions. It is the babies that we kill, the hostages that we slaughter and the Fullouja that we bomb. It is the ‘Collateral Damage’ and the apprehension that we tolerate. It is the ‘’it is what it is’’ that we seem to accept in our endeavours. It is ludicrous and sad to say the least!

Mind you, I used to be very calm - people would actually say that they rarely saw me loose my cool - however over the last seven years it's been getting worst. I blow my fuse at the most absurd things - bad customer service, queue jumpers, cold calling Tele sales people, foot ball, work etc. It is the hypocrisy of some, the ‘dymokracy’ of others, and stupidity of most that drive me crazy! When are we going to learn from history?

So I thought writing a book about this and other emotions would be CATHARTIC if nothing else... getting any body to read it would be the creme on the espresso! I have to warn you though, that I may at times sound cynical and contradictory but in all cases I mean well to all and harm to none.

I also have to explain that my anger hurts me more than it hurts anyone of all. It hurts me to know I can’t compromise, reconcile or recover. – I can’t hold the stick from the middle nor do I want to waste the rest of my age trying! You see, to me all ages are painful and problematic: The Teen ages, the Middle ages and the New ones! The best age – one hopes - is yet to come. It is the age where we don’t age, it is the age beyond the horizon, where you don’t need a lemon to squeeze on life, and where the sun rises only when the cock calls!

So, whatever I do, I always end up angry, frustrated, stressed and some times depressed. I try to help where I can but people are never grateful and always critical or problematic! That’s how I see it and will always feel it in my heart.

‘Non curo’ any more!

Your account will be renamed

[edit]

21:52, 19 March 2015 (UTC)

Renamed

[edit]

10:22, 22 April 2015 (UTC)